Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Role Modeling is Never Easy.


I do not have "good teeth". My parents never thought that taking care of teeth was important. Heck, they never thought taking care of our bodies was important either. I grew up on Hostess snack foods for breakfast and lunchboxes full of Oreo cookies (and other equally horrible but delicious snacks that my classmates would drool over). Dinner was usually cube steak or American Chop Suey. No veggies. But plenty of milk.

Anyway - not only did my parents feel that oral hygiene and health care was a waste of time and money ... but my Mom also feared doctors and dentists ... and was very vocal about it (still is). I remember having to have a tooth pulled, and my Mom cried the whole morning of my appointment (right in front of me - I was five) ... because she didn't want the dentist to hurt her baby. She also sobbed the day that my brother got glasses (after teachers told my mother that he truly could not see what he was doing and it was causing him migraines in school). Mom was so afraid that he was going to be picked on for his glasses, that she told him he didn't need to wear them if he didn't want to. So, he never did. (Hmm. Would you if it made your Mom cry?) They also left it up to us whether we wanted to go to the dentist or not for our yearly check-ups. So - we opted out of them. What kids wouldn't? And I don't think, in all my 21 years of living with my parents, that I ever saw them make an appointment for themselves with a doctor or a dentist. Unless you count Dad's vasectomy. No check-ups. No paps. No fillings (not if you can just wrench the teeth out yourself!).

Now I am 36. And some things have changed. Dad regularly goes to the doctor. Has been for some years now. Thank God too - as that is why he is alive today. His wonderful doctor (referred by me) caught his heart attack and got him in for a quadruple bypass before his heart was about to give up. But Mom, well, she still avoids it all. She has probably only half her teeth left (Dad too) and could have all manner of illnesses (as she has all manner of symptoms) but won't go for a full work-up no matter how hard I beg. She says she rather die not knowing what killed her. That could be funny I suppose --- if she weren't your Mother.

And what about me? And my Brother? How have our parent's lack of self-care affected us? Well ... my Brother has been regularly visiting doctors and dentists for all of his adult life. Like most of what our parents have shown us (have I mentioned how much I do dearly love my parents?) ... we strive to do the opposite. Don't all kids? But some things have stuck with me through the years ... no matter how hard I try to shake them off. And two things Mom taught me well was to fear dentists and to undervalue the need for self-care (okay ... three things... I still eat chocolate for breakfast). So, I have steered clear of dentists for many, many years. And believe me, my teeth have suffered greatly for it. But not any longer ...

I am a Mother now. I am a role model. I want my son to value self-care. And heck, I deserve good teeth, too. So, I found an awesome dentist ... successfully applied for Care Credit ... and am now on the road to a healthy and gorgeous set of teeth. I know that this is a wonderful treat for me (and great progress in my self-care growth) ... but most importantly, I am recognizing that my son will only learn to care for himself if he sees it modeled for him. His Daddy is great at this --- always eating good foods, regular visits to both doctor and dentist, plays sports, etc. So now it is time for me.

I have taken Isaac to the library to pick out some great books about teeth: Your Teeth by Helen Frost ... an excellent all around introduction to the science and care of teeth ... and Rotten Teeth by Laura Simms ... for pure entertainment. And we have started a homeschooling unit on dental hygiene ... so I think we are off to a good start. Every time I have a dentist appointment (nearly every week until mid-January!) I get very excited and talk to Isaac about how great it feels to take care of my body. Role modeling isn't easy ... but it is part of good parenting ... so even when the dental work hurts, I smile and tell him what a great job I am doing! Let's hope it pays off ... as his first visit will be coming soon ... let's see if he smiles and thinks it's wonderful (fingers crossed).

Hope you are enjoying healthy teeth!

Love,
Jodi

P.S. Remember to make a comment for my Birthday Week in order to win a gift. See here for details.

4 comments:

kim @ mommyknows said...

I do have healthy teeth.

Your mom sounds like a character! My mom hates doctors too, she is convinced they are all quacks backed by evil drug companies. She takes only naturopathic treatments prescribed by none other than 'herself'.

Glad to hear you are taking good care of yourself and Isaac! I think more often than not children follow the same paths as their parents. It's important to break the chain of bad habits!

Happy Birthday my friend!

Kim xo

Tara Rison said...

You are so right! Being a role model (and good parent) is definitely not easy. But, so rewarding.

I also want to wish you a
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you enjoy it.

Anonymous said...

that was darn inspirational. i'm going to go make an appointment. i haven't had my teeth cleaned in ages. thanks for the reminder that i have to put my self-care on my to do list, and move it up near the top, because i want to model that for my children. especially so they get the message that mommies are important and deserve to be treated well. i want my son AND my daughter to know that in their bones.
bless you,
kristin b
brennerkg@yahoo.com
hope your b-day was great & you were treated like a queen!

Anonymous said...

I so enjoy reading your blog
~Jenn Hill Maszczak