Wednesday, March 18, 2015
April 10, 1987
Its before the dance - (around 4pm). I truly don't feel like going !! Craig wrote me a nice note but he still doesn't talk to me. You know that embarrassing question he was gonna ask me ... well he did. He asked me if I ever made out with a boy. I didn't tell him (yet).
Well, Tim is keeping a big secret from me. I'm real upset about that! See ... after the dance, everyone is going to Ho-Jo's (except me) and something "big" is gonna happen w/ Craig and no one will tell me!
Chris Riendeau was arguing with Tim 'cause he wanted Tim to tell me but he still didn't!
I'll have to write more after the dance.
Wisdom of this entry: Friends shouldn't keep secrets. Not about what is going down after a dance. That's just rude. And if you are reading this Craig (and I love that I know you are reading every entry) .... the answer is Yes. I made out with Patrick Deware in 7th grade. And I got in SO much trouble for it with Brother Phil. SO much detention. Honestly, I think Brother Phil was jealous. I'm pretty sure he wanted to make out with Patrick.
Saturday, March 14, 2015
April 9th, 1987
I can go to the dance 2-morrow! Yippee Skipee!! My clothes look great and I just got my hair cut. At first I didn't like it, but then I moussed it and its great! I'm so excited except that Craig hasn't talked to me. But with him you never know!
So ... I'll just wait it out! And if he doesn't love me anymore I'll be sad but I won't let it get to me. Like a lot of my friends have been telling me, I can find someone else. I don't want to sound cruel though. He is a good friend. Maybe that's all he can be!
P.S. Thank you Lord for blessing me."
Wisdom of this entry: If you don't love me anymore, I won't let it get to me. So, move along.
(Who was this strong girl? I need to find her within myself again.)
Thursday, March 12, 2015
April 8, 1987
My mom is packing, my father's working on odd jobs, and my brother's in love.
Today has not been a very good day.
Craig did not write me a note all day. (But if its one thing I've learned - its that you can never know when to expect a note from him).
Also, during gym (which I hate) someone asked me if I had a black eye, because I had huge bags under my eyes (since I was up till 11:00 last night).
Also, I've needed a pair of sneakers for a week (cause the dog ate mine) and know one will give me a ride to the store. That really bugs me, seeing I do a lot of work around the house.
Well, now for the best part of the day (I mean that sarcastically). When I came home, I got a letter from the mail, written by Kris W. Its very emotional. Reading it made me cry. And it made me think. I really need her! I love her D/N/Q.
I'll quote something she wrote me:
"Never in my life have I met a person who I would do anything for ... you are that person. You are a very special part of me and when you go, that special part of me will go, too. You are like a dream (come true), never going to stay 4-ever and I should have prepared myself for the time when this awesome dream would end."
That is just a small part of this rather long letter.
I don't know if I am really all she claims I am but I know that we have a special relationship. I have never had a friend that I've loved so much. Lord, she is the greatest, most miraculous thing (person) I've ever been blessed with. I have never had such an emotional problem in my life. I've never had to deal with such a thing.
My friends at Fairgrounds are so great. I've learned to see the good in every one. And to love the people for who they are.
Mindy, Kristin W., Crystal, Chris R., etc ... have been such great influences on me. I love them! Please Lord, you can't do this to me.
Well... I've enclosed the note Kris wrote me (and the one Craig wrote yesterday).
All I have to say is, the last day of school is going to be the worst day of my life (and I'm not just saying that! - it's worst then dieing!)
Wisdom from that entry: I survived leaving Fairgrounds, but returned after a year because my parents couldn't take my sadness for one more second. As I read this ... I am reminded of how WILD I still am about my friends and how deeply I appreciate them. So grateful to still be friends with most of the people mentioned in my diary :)
Also, I still hate gym & the dogs still eat my sneakers.
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
April 4, 1987:
Today, Craig wrote me a note (included in box). I was so excited. Hugging is the first step ... I guess!
Anyway, after loads of persuasion by Kristin Whitmore, I got up the guts to call him (my parents weren't home - they went to a funeral for Judy's Mom).
At first he sounded like he didn't care about me but I think as we talked we both realized we could "open" up to eachother. Of course, Jamie didn't help much (he kept screaming so I couldn't hear Craig). Somehow ... we started talking about ourselves, telling eachother who we think we are and describing ourselves. Well - he told me (seriously) that he is real perverted. I guess I believe him ... He was being serious too! Well then he asked me who I am (actually in a round about way). So - after much thought I confessed that I am a dreamer. He didn't know exactly what I meant, but it felt good to tell it. I shouldn't tell him too much but sometimes it feels good to say certain things. (He also told me he has big feet - whether he was being sarcastic or not, I don't know). I've also learned that it is hard to tell if he's just trying to be funny of if he's serious. Maybe it'll take time to figure that out. Hopefully, if he's not too perverted, I'll have all the time in the world with him to figure out if he's serious or not!
Wisdom from the entry: Being less perverted may get you to first base.
Grammer comments: I still forget that eachother is two separate words. I apparently used "air quotes" twenty something years ago too. And I love these little dots ... and these little dashes -. Still.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
The year is 1987. It is my first year in public school. I no longer have to wear uniforms. I am 13 years old ... 5'11" and wear a 36C bra. I am gorgeous but don't know it. I am incredibly awkward (still am). Public school kids are a totally new concept. Every day I am trying to figure out how to fit in. And then there is this boy I am totally crushing on. It's not my now husband. He's in my classes too ... but he's the guy I can't stand. This never-finished book is mostly about Craig ... and it starts over half way through the school year ...
April 2nd, 1987:
I don't know exactly where to start. See, I wrote a letter to Craig Reynolds asking him if he would like to go out with me. It was a courageous thing to do! Well anyway, he said "Yes". But he didn't say it to my face. I had the guts enough to come out and ask him, why couldn't he at least tell me "Yes" in a letter. I'm not mad. I just wanna know if he really cares about me. I guess I love him. It's hard to say. People say that I made a real bad mistake. How will I know? It's only been a day. Maybe tomorrow he'll open up. I'll tell you tomorrow.
I want to write more but I don't think I should. This is enough for one day.
Wisdom of this entry: It's hard to know if it's true love, when it's only been a day.