Thursday, April 16, 2009

My Brother.


Lately, my Brother has been going through something that has really broken his spirits. And it has been killing me. I love that man as though we were attached at the hip - and sometimes feel as though we are twins on opposite sides of every human attribute. There are only the two of us, and though we leaned on each other throughout our childhoods, it seems that we have responded to our tumultuous upbringing in opposite ways. He took a different path than me long ago - in order to heal from some serious wounds. And now he finds himself alone in something that is bigger than he can handle. I want desperately to help him. Desperately. What is interesting and wonderful though - is that finally, after many years of living geographically and somewhat emotionally apart - he is letting me in - he is sharing his pain - he is seeking help - and he is expressing love. Most of which is surely an answer to prayer.

It is sad to see someone you love not know how wonderful they are. My brother has always been an inspiration to me... which seems to come as a total shock to him. Yes, he has made some bad decisions in his life - as we all have - but this man is FULL of integrity, inspiration, passion, and tenacity. He loves BIG. He is honest, generous, forgiving, and so many other wonderful qualities. He just doesn't see them. He assumes the worst of himself. And I look forward to the day when he can forgive his past - recognize the beauty he holds in this world - and move on to grant himself all the best in life - settling for nothing less than what he deserves: to fullfill his dreams, to allow himself to be truly loved, and to free himself of all that seeks to weigh him down.

I have shared this picture of Isaac and my Brother within this post because it seems that Isaac - through his incredibly ability to see into people's souls - has done much to heal my brother lately. The way my son shows love for his Uncle ... the way he seeks him out when he knows that his Uncle is in pain ... the way that he loves his Uncle without reservation or expectation ... the way he soothes his Uncle's pain with kind words and lovely physical gestures ... Well, I believe that Isaac is showing his Uncle that he is worthy of unconditional love. And my Brother feels it. In fact, it brings him to tears.

My brother has said that he has never met a child like Isaac before. He says that Isaac just has this "knowing". And I too am sure of that. Isaac is a gift to this world. He has already healed many hearts ... and will continue to do so, I have no doubt. But my brother shares some of these gifts as well ... and I long for the day that he sees the power and beauty within himself. It will come in time. And I will sing praises on that day.

If you - reader - are struggling with your own insecurities - perhaps you should look at yourself through the eyes of a child. Or better yet, look at yourself as you would look at a child. Would you tell a child that he/she was unworthy of anything??? Then why do that to yourself??? Would you ridicule them for all the shortcomings that you ridicule yourself for??? Surely not. So, why do that to yourself. And if a child looks up at you with absolute adoration - it is because you DESERVE it. Believe them. Allow their love to seep in and grow.

(Well, I suppose that is my "sermon" for today).

Be well, be loved ...
I love you Brother.

Jodi

1 comment:

Tammy said...

How sweet a post and I love that photo of your son and brother. You should have it enlarged and framed for your brother. Very tender moment there. Your brother sounds like a great guy. Hopefully he will recognize that soon. Best wishes to him.
Tammy